Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Night and Day ... oh and Humanity

Well, i'm feel better, emotionally. Not 100% back, but SO MUCH better than i was a few days ago, the difference is almost like night and day, heaven and hell. Seriously, for a moment i tried to figure out a way to sleep through the next week. It was that bad.

This has been a tough cycle--emotionally eviscerating. Either way, i will be glad when next week comes, just to put lupron, follistim, and menopure way behind me.

I am tired. Exhausted. Yes, my friends are out of town, but still! They can call. They can email. Then can ask. I am beginning to hate people. Really, i think i already do. I want to move somewhere far off, where people dont bother me.

That's why i need kids of my own so badly. To restore my faith in humanity...among other things.

Ok, but seriously, a coworker/friend stops by my office yesterday and sees my ridrimmed, bloodshot eyes, and notices that something's a little off with me. We have a nice little conversation about why things are off, namely that i'm doing ivf next week and i'm up to my nostrils in drugs. She was very sympathetic ... yesterday. There's only one office that separates me from her. Today, i dont see her at all. Is that weird? No, i really wanna know, is it me or does humanity just suck? Why the heck dont you ask about a girl who shows up to work drugged up and bugged out?

That's one of the reason i didnt tell many people at work about ivf this cycle. Nyeh. Who cares, right?

On another note, we're having second thoughts on the person who gets to carry the precious tissue on aspiration day. Dh wants ME to ask HIS sister, the one who flaked out on us last time. Umm, like, i'm still a little pissed about last time. So, how do you suggest i get her cooperation (and compassion) this time? Huh?

It's aggravation all around the nation.

This has been a tough cycle, thank God for all things. Even the meds sting going in, and i, oddly, start to giggle, which causes my belly to jiggle and, no doubt, raises serious, SERIOUS, question in dh's mind as to the 'fine' speciman of the FAT woman he married. Fatty. Why did i ever think having him do injections would be a good thing?

So, i'm no longer crying nonstop. Yay for miracles. Dh and i are schleppin along, this cycle having battered us both.

On a comical note, we aspirate afterall on Sunday HAHAHAHAHAHA. You know why that would NOT BE GOOD? Because, his doctor and the hospital do not practice medicine on holy days. People stop needing medical care. Everyone attends church, instead, especially those needing medical care.

ok, but enough about me on drugs, someone tell me who wrote an awesome post about how hot hell is...the one where the student wrote the answer on the test? Some people need to read it.

Seriously, like humanity.


At 3:32 AM, Blogger StellaNova said...

Don't give up on all of humanity ... we're all still here for you.

But some people do just suck!

It's too hard for most, to know how to deal with this. I'm not sure I know how to deal with it half the time.

I hope everything works out for you next week. Keep looking up.

At 2:12 PM, Blogger Summer said...

I'm hoping all this crap you're going through now means that it will be smooth sailing later on. You know, like get all the bad stuff out of the way first and then you will only have good stuff to later on.

Isn't that how life is supposed to work?

At 12:20 AM, Blogger Lara said...

Oh the stuff you're feeling is ohh sooo familiar to me. Only today am I starting to get some energy back after stopping all meds last Friday. These meds have made me mind numbing tired, exhausted beyond anything I've ever felt before, it sucks! As for people sucking who know about your IVF cycle and how you're feeling I got a lot of the same thing. People just don't get how hard this all is. How hard it is on our bodies and our emotions, at least unless they've been through it before! I kept expecting friends and family to call me and say HEY HOWS IT GOING WITH THE IVF??? Noone has. NOONE! Only my bloggy friends have shown me the kind of attention I expected from my real life friends! Keep the faith, we internet friends are here for you!

At 4:01 AM, Blogger Wishing 4 One said...

Hey, I just caught up on your blog....Well its Sunday in cairo now, I will be thinking of you today.

Unfortunately, we know many people suck, but thank God for the so many people that don't, problem is we just can't find wm when we need em most.

I'm with you in thought always, I hope to read good news soon....hugs...xoxoxoxo

At 6:34 AM, Blogger Kris said...

I just caught up, too... and it's Sunday. I hope things go well for you! I'll pray extra prayers this morning.

It's not all humanity... We love you.

The only student answer story I've heard of is the kid who explained on his thermodynamics test whether hell was exothermic or endothermic... is that the one you mean?


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