Will the Real Slim Sperm Please Stand Up

We met with the urologist today. Here's the low down. The chances of a repeat no-go on retreival day are high. The chances of not finding any sperm are real. The chances of both of us going through this for nothing are very possible. So, on retrieval day, when dh goes off to have sperm captured at a separate location from me, where i'll be having my eggs captured, there's a chance that i will receive a call from the urologist saying they found nothing. It's over. It'll be like IVF1 deja vu except worse because dh wont be near me!

It's good to know this and remember this and be clear about what we're doing here. We're taking a slim chance. A real slim chance. Still, a slim chance is better than no chance. But let us not forget, it's slim.

In other news, there is no courier service for the live human tissue. Why live human tissue, you might ask? Because we're not finding actual sperm, sillies, (hence the slimness of the chance), we're looking for the dna stuff before it becomes a floating sperm. That, my friends, is embedded in the tissue. Ouch! And that's hard to find, as you can imagine, without cutting up all the tissue. Sometimes the doctors luck out and the first draw is a gold mine ... of a couple of sperm. Other times they have to poke around and hope they dont have to do too much poking (or damage) to find any because it can be ... well, damaging.

But, we've now confirmed with the urologist, who was the head of the urology department at a university, that there is no courier service for said tissue. The university does not take liability of loss, in case of mishap. So the burden is on the patient's family and friends to carry the sperm to its destination. Talk about the long road to conception and so many players in between. I mean, do babies really get made this way? This is more of a situation-comedy than real life--a brady bunch episode in the making. Dh and i missed our true calling as sitcom writers, instead of parents. We dont even have to make up the stuff. We could just comb our biographies for a living.

So anyway, on the day of retreival, we're going to need a miracle. A miracle that sperm is found and a miracle that it's delivered safely to me (no pressure there to the carrier), which is separate from the miracle of implantation and viable pregnancy. And if miracles are being handed out on that day ... can i just have the miracle of spontaneous, natural conception (plus a normal pregnancy and a healthy happy baby who becomes a healthy happy adult and natural asset to humanity)?

So my dear God, my heart is ever in Your hands and i ask You as the source of mercy and miracles to please give us a miracle. Please give us a great miracle. Please, please, please give us a miracle. Please give us the miracle of our own biological baby (who is great in his/her love of You and us/memememe).

Please. Oh God, please.

Your faithful-but-sometimes-absent-minded-and-imperfect-but-steadfast(or she tries to be),

Fertile Soul