IVF 2: Cancelled

More details to come, mostly, it's virtually identical to the cancellation of ivf 1.

And again, i am stunned. I feel like Charlie Brown, running up to kick the football and only to have it be yanked away. I am stunned that i am stunned. It's like, didnt this just happen? When am i going to get a clue? When i am going to read the freakin writing on the wall? When?

I'm glad that we tried. It failed. Again. It's tragic. It's another failure. You win some, you lose some. And we've lost some this year.

In the end, i still feel incredibly grateful for the blessings that i have. It wouldn't be life if you didnt experience some tragedy, if you didnt experience disappointment. I dont want this disappointment to blot out the rest of the blessings in my life. I dont live in a war-torn country. I have not lost a spouse or even a family member to war. The economy in which my job is based has not been attacked or detroyed.

It's been a bad few weeks, we've taken a beating, but we're not the only ones. I feel incredibly blessed nonetheless that God has protected me from tragedies of other kinds, that God has blessed me with other successes (cant think of any at the mo, but there must be some, right?!). Finding dh was a great blessing, but i can hardly credit that with any success of my own. That's a miracle, straight from God. And, i suppose, if we're choosing miracles, that's one a lifetime of gratitude couldnt match nor could kids eclipse.

So thank God for all things. It's all good. Even the tragedies. You begin to see what really matters and how truly blessed you have been, unfulfilled worldly wishes notwithstandings.

I say this as i am doubled-over in the pain of ovulating 20 times over. So, i'd like to be forgiven for not necessarily being in my right mind, for going off on my pontificating tagents, as if i knew anything about life or the world.