A Glutton for Gluten

For lunch today, we went to Macy's and had a monstersize chocolate cupcake (which comes with a mountain of chocolate frosting), cheese ravioli, mac & cheese, and garlic mashed potatoes (dont stand too close to me). What brought on this gluttony in spite of my low tolerance for gluten? Well, we are depressed. Yes, yes, it's for real. I once said "we" recently to a friend when she asked "how's the novel", i said "we have moved onto other projects." She stopped mid conversation to say "who is we?" Well, silly, it's me, myself and i. So, y'all, all three of us are in the dumps.

So, what induced this royal slip into the abyss? Well, dont you know? I cant have kids. Ha ha. Funny, aint it. So funny. And then, this upcoming weekend, the wonderful, thoughtful Fertile Soul decided to host her sister's baby* shower ... in her very own house ... and bake the cake too. I know, i'm just ridiculous. But, in all fairness to the dear sis, i am the only sister ... well, the only adult sister. And, what was i to do? Just not let her have one? And she doesnt live near me anymore but all her friends do. So, either i do it, or there's nothing, right? I just couldnt not do it. I just couldnt. And, i was feeling up to it when i said i would. Seriously. I thought i would be okay.

But, now, suddenly, i get a bill in the mail from my last ivf of THREE MONTHS AGO and i cant stop balling. Trick or Treat! Here's a bill for $1500 because your insurance company DENIED coverage.

I guess, i've been feeling financially stressed. The house gets messy easily (ie the boudoir) because we need some new furniture. Our bedroom dressers were left over from dh's childhood. Yeah, do you know how old that is? Let's just say that this furniture is from the 60s. I need new furniture because i need enough space to fit everything. ok? So i cant throw anything out and i'd rather buy more furniture than throw stuff out, so?! You wanna make something of it??--this is the inner dialogue we struggle with. It's not easy being me. Just buy some new furniture already and be happy! No, we must have this internal debate that lasts a decade and another decade to decide the perfect "set" to buy ... speaking of which, i saw this awesome leather/cherrywood sleigh bed ....mmmmmmmm, nice. Could i get a king size bed, while i'm at it? Yeah, i'm probably the last person on earth who still sleeps on a queen. What was i thinking? I'll tell you. When i got married i was very much a hippy dippy girl and decided the floor would be fine. Yes, the Fertile Soul is such a simple girl at heart. So, she slept on the floor for the first 4 years, when she finally decided a bed was in order. So a queen bed was a HUGE improvement over the floor.

In defense of the q-bed, i think i will miss it if i ever graduate to a king. Sometimes i think i want a king just so i can rollover without asking dh to move over in the process. But then, i'll miss all the cuddling. Does anyone cuddle anymore on a king? I'd be too lazy to scoot over. Once my head hits the pillow, that's it, i'm not moving.

In other news, what's up with Ryan and Reese! I havent been this sad since Jessica and Nick. Actually, i'm mad. Work it out people! Work it out. Did you hear that married people are in the minority? I'm thrilled to be a part of that minority. People should marry, i say.

Ok, Dancing With the Stars is on, which I AM NOT WATCHING, but what the heck are these women wearing??? And then they have these dance moves where the women time their kicks at exactly the same moment that the camera flashes them, so you basically have a re-enactment of Sharon Stone in Basic Instincts except with underwear (only i wouldnt know since i've never actually seen that movie, thank God). Women, why must you debase yourselves and get sucked into doing soft porn on prime time? Like, i'm definitely not watching this stuff with my dh, cuz the only Basic Instincts he needs to see are mine. ... But then , i guess, that explains why marriage is on the decline. What's so special about it, when all the salacious parts are on prime time free for all?

Anyway, i'm off to go see a movie because it's been a while and i'm in a craptastic mood and i cant stand to stay home and watch garbage.

Also, how come only 3 people came to my house for trick or treating when there's about 5 kids in every house on our block? I think i live on the most fertile block on the planet....hence, my escape to the dark room of a theater and into the life of someone else.

*Update: I initially typed bridal shower, but that was so last year. It's now time for the baby shower. I detect a freudian slip in there somewhere, but i cant figure it out.