Monday, January 22, 2007


So, it appears that suddenly this massive gaping wound is scabbing over. I no longer feel like crying every single moment of the day. In fact, I can go a whole entire day without crying about it. And sometimes, I can even begin to see and feel the road I was once on before this past year’s trip through the rabbit hole of ivf.

But how does a large open bleeding wound suddenly begin to close? And why?

Well, my friends, I’m not ashamed to admit that it may have a little to do with my drug of choice…escapism. For the past week, I have returned to an old guilty pleasure—romance novels, where happily-ever-after endings are guaranteed or your money back. So far, I’m downing one a day. And when I’m not doing that, I am drowning my mind in music. My current favorite selection (to be linked when I can figure it out):

When I find myself in times of trouble,
mother Mary comes to me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
And in my hour of darkness
she is standing right in front of me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.

Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be.
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

And when the broken hearted people
living in the world agree,
there will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted
there is still a chance that they will see,
there will be an answer. let it be.

Let it be, let it be, .....

And when the night is cloudy,
there is still a light, that shines on me,
shine until tomorrow, let it be.
I wake up to the sound of music,
mother Mary comes to me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.

Let it be, let it be, .....


At 5:02 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

By romance novels, do you mean what me and my girlfriend referred to as "smut books" as we read a gazillion a week? Where the heroine is always a virgin- or very nearly so. And the sex is always fantastic and they never seem to have to sleep? I love those books!

Whatever makes you feel better, babe, I say go for it with gusto.

At 3:49 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

That song has always made me tear go girl Let It Be...

I hope that your vacation to the place where the sun never stops shining was awesome, and you had the time if your life.

Miss you and glad to be reading you again.

At 12:37 PM, Blogger niobe said...

As they say, tout passe, tout casse, tout lasse.

But in the meantime, take advantage of whatever works to dull or lessen or drown out the pain. My drug of choice is depressing nonfiction with lots of footnotes: the barbarian invasions of the dark ages, the creation of the atomic bomb, the Nuremburg trials.

But I'm sure that that wouldn't work for everyone.


Post a Comment

<< Home